Boy has a girlfriend. Girl knows this, but she fucks him anyway. In his car after work, his shirt draped over the steering wheel and her underwear around one ankle. In her bed at her apartment when his Girlfriend is out of town. And once even in the Ladies Room when Boy brought his Girlfriend in to eat at the restaurant she works at on his day off.

Girl feels no remorse. She doesn't know Girlfriend, doesn't really care what happens. As far as Girl is concerned, Boy's skinny ass is hers while they're fucking, and that's really the only time she wants him.

Or, that's what she tells herself when she is lying in bed, alone and wide awake. Or when he is asleep on the other side of her bed, his arm slung across her hips, snoring a little.

She tells herself that she does not love him, because love and sex are two different things. Boy loves Girlfriend, he has sex with Girl. Boy and Girlfriend make love, slow and candle-lit, whispering in each other's ears breathless "I love you"s. Boy and Girl fuck, frantic and hot with Girl on top mostly, her head thrown back and sweaty while she tells him to fuck her harder, harder, harder. Boy and Girlfriend go on dates and she has met his family and knows his favorite color. Boy and Girl don't eat, just fuck, and Girl has met his family, too, but only because she was their server when they came in to eat at the restaurant, and she doesn't even know his middle name.

But Girl is okay with all of this because she likes Boy's tall, thin darkness, his tattoos and piercings. She is okay with all of this because she doesn't know Girlfriend and because Boy makes her laugh at work even when it's busy as hell, and because he makes her cum. Like crazy. Girl is okay with all of this because she's not getting caught, and if she does, it's over. She doesn't have to deal with the tears and the pain and the scarred heart, the breaking up and all those tearful "I thought I could trust you"s shouted at midnight.

That is why Girl loves to be the other woman. She never cries when they leave and her heart never gets broken.

Or, that's what she tells herself when she is fucking Boy and biting her lip to keep the word "love" from slipping out.

please stop..
I can’t look at you, because I get butterflies everytime that flutter up my throat and out like word vomit. I can’t speak to you because I only say the wrong things and you get angry and I get upset.. I can’t kiss you because I get weak at the knees and fall for you all over again..these knees can’t take those hard wood floors anymore. I can’t think about you because I get this empty feeling in the pit of my stomach and then it’s not so empty anymore because my heart drops like a bomb all the way to the bottom, filling that pit as it shatters into pieces. Don’t you understand? Stop texting me. You know it’s only making it harder for me. Stop calling me. You know just the sound of your voice is enough to make me fall for you all over again. Stop iming me. I can’t bare the suspense of seeing what you’ll say next as you type away. Please, just stop. You know exactly what you’re doing. Stop loving me babe, so I can stop loving you..

Don't cry
My Love My Life
Always isn't always, forever isn't forever
Will tears fall with every thought of you?

Don't dwell
Mi Amor
Words spoken do not necessarily last
Will I hear your voice every waking moment?

Don't think
Forever's as far as you said you would go
Feelings return like a giant wave
Will I continue to feel I'm drowning without you?

Don't question
Two who tried
One unable to continue, one unable to stop
Will I ever stop needing to know why?

Don't dream
In sleep you always return
The Knight who vowed to fight for my honor
Will I ever close my eyes and not see your face?

Don't hope
It wasn't to be
To replace you with another
Will it always be too soon?

Don't remember
Words spoken, feelings shared
Promises made
Will I ever be able to forget?

Don't forget
Causing you to leave
Will I always remember?

Don't stop
Wanting your happiness
To see your smile
Will you ever leave my heart?

what did you expect?
Oh gentle winds beneath moonlit skies,
Do not you hear my heartfelt cries?

Below the branches, here about,
Do not you sense my fear and doubt?
Side glistening rivers, sparkling streams,
Do not you hear my woeful screams?

Upon the meadows, touched with dew,
Do not you see my hearts askew?
Beneath the thousand twinkling stars,
Do not you feel my jagged scars?

Seek not my mournful heart kind breeze,
For you'll not find it  amongst these trees.

It's scattered across the moonlit skies,
Accompanied by heartfelt sighs.
It's drifting over  the gentle rain,
A symbol of my silent pain.

It's buried beneath the meadow fair,
Conjoined with all the sorrow there.
It's lost among the stars this night,
Too far to ease my quiet fright.

No gentle winds, seek not my heart,
For simply ... it has torn apart.

emotional vampire
Standing before you,
Naked, but unaware,
Body trembling with every breath,
I await your approach.

Embracing you in ecstasy,
Our energies ascend in
A feverish rapture as the
Moon illuminates our silhouettes through
Lace curtains.

You pull away,
Leaving me listless,
Writhing in agony on the
Floor as my essence seeps through
My skin into you,

My sweet, emotional vampire,

Who leaves me in anguish,
Tormented until our next encounter when
I will stand before you,
Waiting to be drained again.

just one night
A touch, soft and tender.
A whisper, full of desire
A gasp of sweet surrender
As passion fuels the fire

No words spoken between them
No promises to be kept
No lies being told tonight
No looking back - no regrets

Longing to hold each other
Such precious little time
Both vowed to another
Being lonely their only crime

Tomorrow bringing sorrow
A brief moment of shame
With the memory of this one night
A release from passion's flames

my dearest haters, you are all volcanos

This is to all the girls who spread rumors about me, who backstab me, who act like my bestfriend to my face and turn around and talk about me like they despise me with every inch of their bodies.

This is to all the guys who use me, talk shit, lie about what they do with me, and act just like girls.
You are all volcanos.
Desiring what others have, not content to beitself.

Emotions building up,
longing to escape, churning like hot lavainside, burning.
Trapped, like thick steam,
when unable to bevented has no other choice, but to explode in a crash of sudden fury 

A whirlwind of ash and lava erupt nto the heavens,
like thefeelings once imprisoned within, now unleashed at last.
A display of fire and fury.
Words and emotions are spewed out,
unwilling to berestrained any longer, dormant for too long.


if i forget, i hope you remember

If I forget to tell you just how much you mean to me,
I hope that you will remember while you're not here with me.

If I forget to tell you that you are my world and more,
I hope that you will remember what I am waiting for.

If I forget to tell you I want you in my life,
I hope that you will remember that I am always by your side.

If I forget to tell you I love you more than words,
I hope that you will remember regardless of the hurt.

If I forget to tell you I am sorry for my mistakes,
I hope that you will remember with every one I make.

If I forget to tell you no other can compare,
I hope that you will remember the love that we both share.

If I forget to tell you I miss you everyday,
I hope that you will remember your absence causes pain.

If I forget to tell you that forever is what I want,
I hope you will remember that forever is what we've got.
Whether I say these words to you,
or wait until you are here with me,
I will show you this forever,
and these words will have no need.



come melt with me, lover

Dear lover,
Come to me, melt with me.
Become one with me, press your lips to mine,
Let me look into those deep dark
I need this, want this, come to me.

The feel of your body pressing, touching
Reach into my soul, my depths.
Feel the heat in ourselves, our love.
Relive this ecstasy over and over again.

Dear lover,
Love me as only you can.
A touch, a thought, a kiss..
The sweetest magic only you can bring
I feel electricity from head to toe.
I love you
more from this moment.

Dear lover,
Come to me, melt with me.
I have waited for this, needed this.
I will reach for you as only I can.
To hold you, love dripping onto each other.
This act, so sacred, so private, so immense.
Every inch of each other touching,
heart to heart, face to face.
Hold me closer, even closer still.
Feel my heart beat faster and faster,
So fast, I think it will explode.
Let's show each other how love can be.

Dear Lover,
Come to me, melt with me.


helps me get my emotions out way faster and easier.


I will still write on here though, just not as often.


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